Moving Away from 'Hooks' on College Essays

College essays need to do a lot of heavy lifting in the fast-paced world of essay reviews. Opening the essay with a “hook” as a strategy was devised to draw the immediate attention of the reader in order to pull them right in. However, what was once a great idea has morphed into a very cliched and poorly used technique. The need to have the essay open with a “hook” overshadows the quality and depth so needed for the narrative essay.  There are still some that prescribe to this method as a surefire way to success; however, I propose an even better and more effectual way to not only capture the admissions officers’ attention but to leave them with a lasting impression: show them who you are!

Let’s look at this from the fishing perspective.  I can cast my “hook” into the sea and hope 1) a fish is in my vicinity, 2) the fish is interested in my bait or lure, 3) the fish will actually make a go at my hook, 4) the fish swallows my hook along with part of the line and sinker too, not barely catching the hook on the tip of the mouth, and 5) the fish will make it up to the surface and into my bucket. Within these five steps, there are a lot of variables that can lead my hook and line astray; my day could end with nothing in my fishing bucket.  If I am lucky, I will land a fish or two but there is no guarantee they will be of the size and type I set out to catch.

So, what better method is there to solve for these variables and uncertainties?

A carefully crafted net!

Just as a carefully crafted net, placed strategically in the sea, will capture a wide range of fish of size, quality, and quantity, a carefully crafted and strategically deployed essay will garner and capture the attention of admissions officers in the schools that you have so purposefully chosen. 

You’ll notice I said carefully crafted and strategically deployed. The point in personal essay writing, as with net fishing, is not to just throw out a random net in an open sea.  The net must be created for the specific environment the type of fish I want to catch is located. Knowing this, what should I do? For the best results, I must research the habitat, the typical location for the species, and the migration patterns of the fish I am seeking to catch.  The same is true for the personal essay; the personal design and signature style are important to yield the results I want for the colleges I hope to attend.

After I have my targets in mind, I then must create a net of the strength, size, and pattern most effective to yield the greatest catch.  In terms of my essay, my goal is to choose the appropriate question and then answer it fully by bringing interest, feeling, and organization to the page. Finally, I deploy my net in the most likely areas to yield the largest catch.  As for my essay, I must keep in mind my goal of garnering the best outcome with a mix of schools from my reach, target, and safe zones. By creating and then deploying the appropriate net for the targeted fishes I am seeking, I’ll be feasting on the spoils. In terms of my essays, combined with my Common App package, I’ll start to see the acceptance letters and emails come in.

So, enough of the fish tales.  Let us help you to achieve the results you are looking for.

Imagine reading hundreds of personal essays a day; the day is long, hectic, and monotonous. Your connections to the readings are few but when made, the student leaps from the page to move you to tears—happy or sad, to lead you to an emotional response, to connect with your concerns, or to take you on a journey.  For those brief minutes you feel you get to know the student; you see who they are and why they are showing you what is important to them. This is the student you remember and, more importantly for the student, that you recommend them to continue with the admissions process.

At Axios, we are here to help you be THAT memorable student. We work with you to not only give meaning to your essays but also to help you share who you are, where you see yourself in the future, and how you plan to get there.  We help to develop your voice in order to show your authentic and honest self. We help to craft your essays and questions to your intended audience by offering advice about tone, purpose, and relevance as well as ensuring your message is succinct, timely, and targeted.

Whether you have already started your essay/prompt journey or you are not sure where to begin, we are here to help you show (not tell) your story.